


The Thing Is Blowjobs

by Alet



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: Blowjobs, M/M, Porn with Feelings, dumb assholes in love, pre-Mad Max:Fury Road
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 22:10:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5887231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alet/pseuds/Alet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says on the lid.</p><p>Alternate title: A Moving Story about Two Boys and Their Dicks</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Thing Is Blowjobs

**Author's Note:**

> This was basically entirely written on my phone while I was supposed to have been working so what I am saying is I am trash and this is trash.

The thing is, every Warboy has, at some point or another, done it. It wasn't really a _thing_ or anything. Nobody talked about it, but nobody Didn't Talk About It. As far as anyone could remember, the Immortan had never said anything about it, and the Imperators, themselves former Warboys, didn't ever seem to care. So, it really wasn't a thing. It was just what the Warboys did. Well, the Warboys that had dicks. Although, the ones without dicks didn't seem to think they were necessary...not the point. It wasn't a thing, it just felt good. Nice. And nice is nice, Warboys know that, they're not fucking stupid. Everybody likes nice.

But Warboys are tough. They don't need nice. They certainly don't crave it, think about it, or seek it out. Point is, you'll never catch a Warboy _asking_ for it. 

But they all know about it, and they all know that everyone likes it. It's there. So if you want something, anything, whatever, and you don't have any rations saved up, or any real shiny tools, or you just don't have something another Warboy wants to trade for...you can always offer it. You just can't make a habit of giving it, or getting it, cause that's soft. Everyone understands that. Everyone apparently, except Nux.

“I want my dick licked,” said the most ridiculous shithead driver any lancer had ever been stuck with.

Slit didn't look up from the lance he was making, because getting your dumbass face blown off because you were paying more attention to your dumbass driver than wiring explosives was a rust way to die. He did pause for a second, close his eyes, and thank the Immortan that he and Nux had found, claimed, and defended their tiny room from all interlopers thousands of days ago. Privacy wasn't a big concern in the Citadel, but Slit valued it because it meant no one had to know what he put up with. If Nux pulled half his shit where other Warboys could hear, Slit would have had to kill him. That would be rust, because who knows what mediocre fuck driver he'd be stuck with then.

“Everyone does, shithead,” he growled. It didn't do any good; Nux was, as usual, completely fucking ignoring how terrifyingly badass Slit was. If the newer Pups didn't still scream whenever Slit snarled at them, he'd start to worry.

“You know,” Nux said in the tone of voice that meant ‘Slit you fuck you'd better start worrying now,’ “you could lick my dick.”

Which. What even. Fucking. What. Slit put the lance aside for absolutely no reason other than that he didn't feel like working on it anymore and glared at Nux.

“You could lick _my_ dick you mediocre piece of filth.” It was such a perfect comeback that Slit briefly wished someone else had been around to hear it before he remembered that no, no one could ever know this had actually happened. So of course, it was sand off a lizard’s back to Nux.

“Yeah, I could.”

What.

Wait.

What.

Slit very casually observed that Nux was between him and the door. Rust.

“You can't,” he said and hated himself when it came out like a question. “I don't have anything you want.”

Not true, his brain said. Your boots are way better than his, and he fucking loves those gross purple rations so it's no hardship at all to save those, and there's that fucking perfect bird skeleton that you found and are wiring back together with some extra spikes and shit that is going to be fucking badass when it's done, and Nux always wants more scars, maybe something swoopy starting on his back and coming around his slim hips, getting narrower until it's just a couple lines slipping underneath his cargos like a fucking invitation…

Slit’s brain was a mediocre piece of shit. And Nux was still _fucking talking._

“--course you do. I want you to lick my dick.”

Immortan.

It wasn't as if he'd never thought about it. Slit imagined that everyone who'd ever looked at Nux’s mouth had thought about it. Those lips stretched wide, scars pulling, his eyes closed, lashes resting on his stupid perfect cheekbones or open, bluer than the sky over Valhalla…. Look, Nux’s mouth was fucking made for it, that was an actual, objective fact and in no way Slit’s fault. 

The other thing--Nux staring down, pupils blown, just starting to breathe heavier, muscles in his abdomen trembling while Slit ran his hands down over them, then his tongue, pausing to bite just below the navel before--. The other thing was maybe a little bit Slit’s fault. But there was no way. He'd never said. Couldn't know.

“That's not how it works.” Slit was very proud of how level his voice was. “It would still be. Whoever went first would still be. It wouldn't. If anyone.”

Slit was less proud of how his very smart and compelling arguments were literally disappearing into the air. Also, Nux was straddling him now, thighs splayed just above Slit’s lap, hands braced on the wall to either side of Slit’s head, and Slit had no idea when that had happened.

“What if we did it at the same time?” Nux asked and smiled That Smile, the one that made Slit do whatever Nux wanted him to do and how did he know, how did he _fucking always know._

“Oh, fuck you,” Slit said into the two inches of space between their faces before he shoved Nux back against the ledge they slept on. If Slit was going to give up, he was going to give up _glorious._

Nux was laughing low and quiet, because he was a mediocre shit, but he gasped when Slit scraped teeth over his throat so that was okay. Slit wasn't going to fuck this up, wasn't going to turn it into something soft and shameful, so he only allowed himself the one bite, one lick up Nux’s fragile throat, feeling the pulse under his tongue and breathing in the smell of metal and clay and Nux, _Nux_ before wrenching back. Nux propped himself right back up on his elbows, startled and smug and Slit was going to fucking _show him._ No hesitation, no build up, just _grab_ and _pull_ and suck as much of Nux's dick as he could fit in his mouth in one go. Slit had a moment to regret not getting to look properly -- because yeah he wanted to, of course he wanted to, he always wanted to -- but then he got the sense information of _hot_ and _smooth_ and _hard_ and then the taste and the smell and it was good, glory, it was good. It was hard and soft and _Nux_ and it was so good.

Nux was doing something to his pants. It was probably going to be fine. Slit wasn't really paying attention because Nux's hips were twitching upwards in short, jerky thrusts and as good as it felt to have that dick sliding between his lips and across his tongue (it felt good it felt so good fuck he could just lay here like this for hours, Nux thrusting into his mouth, just fucking taking it) that shit was interfering with his plans. He had only come up with the plan a second ago but it was a good plan, a great plan, and Nux needed to _hold the fuck still._ It was easy enough to pin Nux down with a forearm, easy enough to pull off with a sucking _pop_ that echoed obscenely in the closed room. Nux retaliated by sinking his teeth into Slits inner thigh, which felt fucking great and also, hey, his pants were off. That's what Nux had been doing. Slit felt pretty smug about how clever his driver was and then Nux moved his mouth over and it felt.

It felt like.

Glory.

Slit took Nux's dick back into his mouth because it was that or die, he was going to fucking die, he was dead and in Valhalla and it was better than anything he'd ever imagined. He'd had this before, done this before, but it had never been with Nux and maybe it was because Nux was chrome Nux was so fucking chrome it hurt to look at him sometimes, or maybe it was always like this with a lancer and his driver but it was different, it was better with Nux, it was better than anything.

He lost track of time for a bit after that, wholly consumed by the hot, wet slurp of Nux's dick in his mouth, the hotter, wetter sounds of his dick in Nux's mouth, the deep groans that Nux made whenever Slit did something really good and the shivery aftershocks of pleasure those sounds sent sparking back up through him. At some point Nux had grabbed his ass to hold him steady and pulled just slightly, just enough to give himself room to get a thumb on Slit’s balls that made him whine, to give a tug at his hole that made him shake. So of course the fucker did it again. 

And again.

Nux came first, which would have been exactly what Slit had planned for if he had still been capable of having plans or thoughts. It tasted just like it should, hot and bitter and like winning. At least, it felt like winning until it was over, when Slit pulled up and looked back right as that sneaky fuck took Slit’s dick all the way down his throat. That, and a calloused thumb rubbing over his hole, not going in but pressing just enough to say he could, and maybe more than anything the sight of Nux, cheeks flushed and eyes closed, and Slit was done, and fuck he didn't have anything in his mouth to muffle the noise and Nux had probably planned it that way and fuck, _fuck._. 

He came with a shout that was absolutely almost certainly probably hopefully not his driver’s name.

They were quiet for awhile. Slit waited for his heart to slow before he rolled off Nux, landing on his back with a thump and staring at the ceiling. He waited a bit longer for Nux's breathing to even out, and then a bit longer because fuck off. Just before silence started to feel like cowardice, he looked over to see Nux staring at him with a fucking ridiculous expression.

“What.”

“Just thinking.” Nux's grin went from ridiculous to infuriating. “I've got the best ideas, don't I?”

Slit kicked him in the head. 

Gently.

Well, sort of gently. Almost.

**Author's Note:**

> The moral of this story is that sex makes you use italics.


End file.
